Diane Albanese’s Musings

Have Pity

11-21-08

This is American Education week and for a brief moment, I ask for your indulgence as I relay the sad fate of teachers. Like zombies we wander the earth looking for evidence of intelligent life, evidence that our jobs have real life consequences and evidence that the intellect is winning out over the incompetence.

But alas! Our lot in life remains unfulfilled. As the mounting evidence suggests, there is much work to do to bring the lovely and charming children of this world up to the standards of educational competence put forth by the teachers who have come before us. We have our standards! Now we must convince the entire world to fall in line while we march toward these lofty goals.

Consider the poor English teacher: wandering the land always finding misspellings and dangling participles. Written language on signs and in print can be downright offensive to the delicate sensibilities of an English grammarian when the writing contains remnants of confusion over homonyms and subject predicate disagreement. Take there and their for instance. These lovely little homonyms are constantly confused and misrepresented. Signs read “Will all customers please take there purchases to the next counter.” Worse yet is the use of the contraction they’re. They’re means they are but is often omitted as the unknowing masses slap there everywhere like ketchup on fries: overused and abused! The triplets there, their and there are pitiable words and the English teacher’s offense is noted with regret. Where did we go wrong?

Consider the poor math teacher. Math is essentially the powerful convergence of logic and beauty yet all over the world people are continually confounded by the simplest of tasks: making change from a purchase. Instead of counting the coins and currency, cashiers rely on the cash register to give them the exact amount of change that is to be disbursed. Not only that, witness the pathetic group of restaurant patrons who struggle to figure out the tip on a jointly paid bill only to give up and consult the calculator on their cell phone. What is a math teacher to do?

Consider the poor social studies teacher who is constantly confronted with TV reports that show our children as being geographically and historically compromised. A reporter goes to the street and asks random people simple geographical questions like, “What is the capital of Wyoming?” Much to the Social Studies teacher’s dismay, most people cannot answer these erudite questions without consulting their GPS system. Historical questions can really upset. “Who wrote the Declaration of Independence?” and “What amendment gave women the right to vote?” are cruel. Wrong responses can bring a social studies teacher to near tears.

Last but not least, consider the poor science teacher. While toiling all day to explain grandiose concepts like global warming and the genetics of a fruit fly, there are those who go into the world and understand it not. Sadly I report that often there is no connection between the science lab and the real world. People walk the earth without the benefit of connection to scientific principles and may never understand why their windshield fogs up or the value of washing hands often to prevent the spread of germs.

To all the teachers out there in Cape Gazette land, I wish you a joyful American Education Week. One thing we can say about American teachers: even in the face of the steepest odds, we will never give up on our bringing our students the best instruction. After all, some of them will be teachers one day.

Prince Joe

11-14-08

The Cape Gazette headlines read that soon we will have to share Senator Joe Biden with the nation but for a brief afternoon in Georgetown, he was all ours. To have him on Sussex turf was a thrill.

Other politicians at the Georgetown Returns Day Parade rode in carriages, cars or walked down the street to greet the cheering crowd. Not our Joe. Vice President Elect Joe Biden was jubilantly hanging off the side of a pure white carriage, waving triumphantly as if he were prince returning to his kingdom after a long victorious battle. Prince Charming? Yes! Prince Joe! His smile and enthusiasm radiated joy and goodwill. He had come home at last and he was ebullient. The crowd cheered in appreciation perhaps thinking that we would never see this day with a Delawarean now a major figure in the governing of our country.

I had seen Joe Biden many times before. Delaware is like that: a small state and politicians with a personal touch. Growing up in Wilmington, going to college in Newark and teaching in the Delaware public school system gave me many opportunities to hear him speak. Joe was elected to be Delaware’s Senator when I was a freshman at Mount Pleasant High School. We talked about his unlikely victory in my Social Studies class. He was won his senate seat by defeating Senator J. Caleb Boggs and became the fifth youngest senator elected to office in U.S. history.

His history is one of adversity and triumph. His history is Delaware’s history and soon to be part of the history of the United States.

I know that he is a strong advocate for children and promotes the best that public education can offer. At a teacher conference a few years ago Joe took microphone and told us story after story about his personal commitment to good schools. He was captivating, entertaining and trustworthy. He made us laugh by telling us about his wife who is a teacher. He claimed to have a personal stake in the schools and we believed him.

Having him in co-pilot seat in Washington does much to ease my mind about the future of education in America.

So Joe, if you are listening, could you please help out our schools by reworking some of the mandates that have come our way under No Child Left Behind? Could you create deadlines that are reasonable and attainable? Could you restore some of the decision making to the local schools and allow teachers to have more freedom to teach and not just teach to the test?

Can you help eliminate the way that we look at student achievement, through the lens of a single test? Can you rework the way that our one shot testing determines a child’s future? Could you help the federal government find funding for existing programs that help our most vulnerable population, the handicapped and challenged? Can you work to enable beginning teachers to start their careers in education making a decent wage to be able to afford decent housing and raise their families? As vice president of the United States your influence could go far. Make education a priority. Make education your priority.

Blackboards

11-7-08

There are no blackboards in my school. The boards are all white. We have colorful markers to write on the board but when I put the marker down on the metal ledge I still call it the chalk ledge.

I don’t miss the messy white chalk all over me and my clothing but somehow chalk seems so much more organic than a plastic marker with strong, unpleasant odors. Back in the old days teachers literally had to get their hands dirty to write on the board and to teach. A few veteran teachers had chalk holders but I could never keep up with such gadgets. The chalk also came in pastel colors and I can remember making special holiday drawings of white, peach, rose and blue on the vast blackboard.

Being surrounded in a classroom on two sides by large blackness, sometimes slate type boards in the older schools had its dramatic moments. A clean black, slate board had a definite appearance of permanence and importance as if to say to students, “Take heed! What is written here is significant.”

Perhaps that is why those classrooms had huge twelve foot windows that let children look at the sky and watch the clouds go by. OK. I admit it. I would look at the sky and watch the sun, rain, migrating birds, lightening, sunrise, trees with falling leaves, trees with no leaves, trees with buds and the seasons melt into one another as if a carousel of time was just outside my classroom.

Now we have easy wipe white boards. The classroom is surrounded by clean looking, bright white boards. I use a large cloth to wipe the board and some solution to get it really clean so there is still an element of getting dirty but it is just not the same. As time goes on I suppose that there will be a natural line drawn, a generational line of teachers, who remember chalk boards and those that have know only white boards.

Likewise another line drawn between teachers who have acquired the now completely useless skill of being able to operate a mimeograph machine, also known as a purple monster, and those who have no clue.

I don’t miss cranking out dittos on the big, hulky ditto machine that consisted of a drum and a strong solution that turned our fingers purple but often there was more thought given to how many copies we needed since we had to do the cranking. The ditto machine was a mechanical device for the most part as opposed to a sleek, efficient copier that has intricate trays and paths that paper must follow to become stamped with the correct script. We had books of ditto masters for each subject. To make copies using a ditto master, teachers had to remove it from the book and clamp it onto the drum roller. Sometimes rookies turned it the wrong way and nothing was able to print. Sometimes a favorite ditto became worn out or torn and it had to be completely replaced. Teacher kept their own books of dittos and a large collection was something to be proud of.

From dittos to copiers and blackboards to whiteboards, there is a sense of progress but it is still poignant to remember the changes in the craft of teaching.

Citizenship

10-31-08

Teaching about being a good citizen is tricky business in these woeful economic times. Students may not understand all of the workings of government in a democratic society but they do know that times are tough and their parents are worried.

In a classroom discussion we talked about voting. I asked them how many of their parents plan to vote in the upcoming election. Only about one quarter of my students told me that their parents do not vote. Their explanations ranged from not being able to get to the polls on Election Day to being apathetic toward the whole election process. My students felt that nothing they could say or do would change the parents minds and that they could not get them to go vote next Tuesday.

About half of my students were sure that their parents were going to vote for either McCain or Obama and they held strong opinions on the subject. I could tell because some students kept changing the screen saver on the computer they were using to reflect their preference. When we had class discussions the students usually admitted that they held the same political views as their parents. Some liked to debate the merits of their chosen candidates but mostly their opinions were based on their party loyalty or hope for change.

I asked my students about the issues that they felt were the most important in this election. The vast majority of them stated the economy. They said that their parents are worried about being laid off from work, not having a job and paying bills. Students expressed heartfelt anxiety about the current economic crisis and it came from the uncertainty that they felt at home. Many families live from paycheck to paycheck with no health care. A health crisis in the family could very well upset the outlook of the family to survive on a very basic level. Many children are stressed because their parents are stressed and the entire mood right now seems to be cautionary and dark.

The discussion turned to the price of gas and my students expressed much worry. Many of them explained that they were not able to go places and do things that they used to do because of the expense of getting from one place to another. Their parents were stressed just trying to survive and the future did not look too promising. The children, an afterthought in today’s headlines, are suffering and they don’t often have a chance to express their feelings, anxieties and fears.

With the presidential and gubernatorial races this year we talked about the changes that could take place when new people are in office. The war in Iraq and Afghanistan, healthcare, opportunity for a college education, the possibility of good paying jobs are all issues that affect citizens of a democracy. In our state, the support of public schools, access to affordable housing and support programs for the people with addictions and mental illness were high on the list.

We concluded that on Election Day we all have a voice in electing the best people for leadership roles. Then, as good citizens we have a responsibility to be knowledgeable about what is going on. My students are looking toward November 4^th with cautious hope for the future.

Trick or Treat

Knock, knock. “Trick or treat!”

A fun-loving group of costume clad youth appears at your door wishing you ill if you don’t turn over the goods! So families across the nation dish out the traditional treats: candy for most of us and sensible things like raisins and toothbrushes for the rest. It is Halloween and our great tradition is to send our children door to door dressed in fantasy garb and ready for a night of fun and festivity.

Trick or treating begins with babies who are pushed in strollers around the block but when is it time to give it up? How old is too old for trick or treating?

My middle school students are split on this issue: half stay in and half go out. The sensible ones tell me that the magic age is 13. At 13 you are too old to get dressed up and parade around the neighborhood. At 13 it is OK to take little ones door to door but the candy is off limits. Plus their parents would not allow it.

Another group of students tells me that Halloween is for them and they plan on going out until they graduate from high school. They find so much fun in the rich fantasy world of costumes and the group event of running around the neighborhood at night with friends that they refuse to give it up!

I wanted to tell them about the elaborate world of masquerade balls, Mardi Gras and the season of Carnival. According to Wikipedia, “Carnival is a festival season which occurs immediately before Lent with the main events are usually during February and March. Carnival typically involves a public celebration or parade combining some elements of a circus and public street party. People often dress up or masquerade during the celebrations.”

“Carnival is mostly associated with Roman Catholic and, to a lesser extent, Eastern Orthodox Christians. Protestant areas usually do not have carnival celebrations or have modified traditions, like the Danish Carnival. The world’s longest carnival celebration is held in Brazil but many countries worldwide have large, popular celebrations, such as Carnaval of Venice, or the world famous German celebrations.”

Halloween trick or treating can also be viewed as a community event. Neighbors open their doors willingly and help children celebrate with compliments and treats. This year Halloween falls on a Friday so there is even more reason to extend the night’s festivities.

I can remember that my three boys would always set a goal. If the weather was nice they could do 60 houses inside of just two hours! Sometimes neighbors would ban together and set up a cart with hay so that the little ones could ride from house to house. It was a great time to play Bach’s Toccata and Fugue in D minor through the stereo speakers in the window and don my witch’s hat. One year I took pictures of all of my visitors just before I handed over the candy. This was a great time to connect and be a part of community fun.

If the spirit of Halloween is to dress up, be someone else for a night, travel around the neighborhood with friends and have fun, then there is no such thing as too old because there is no limit to this annual excitement.

Jazz for Youth

10-17-08

The beach is alive with the sound of music! Not exactly the hills from the Sound of Music but the beach with the sound of jazz. Rehoboth comes alive at this time of year with the sound of music. The Autumn Jazz Festival takes center stage and not a moment too soon for the music lovers among us. Take advantage of the rich offerings this weekend that are available and bring the family along. There is no better time to start giving them jazzy experiences than Rehoboth in the fall. Given some time and some exposure, children and teens can enjoy the rich offerings of this rich festival.

To start with, go to the Cape Gazette sponsored page and check out the jazz offerings. http://www.capegazette.com/pages/jazzfest.html. There are many musicians playing in local restaurants including The Cultured Pearl, Just in Thyme, and Café Sole, Victoria’s, Eden, Yesterdays All American Café and Dish! The convention center hosts Joe Piscopo’s “Tribute to Sinatra & More.” Joe Piscopo is a Saturday Night Live alumni and a comedian, singer and musician. This show is a tribute to Frank Sinatra. How do you explain Frank Sinatra to your children? Start with a stop at the I-tunes store and download some vintage Sinatra to play on their I-Pods. Sinatra is hip and he is a legend that they should know more about.

Jazz music is a uniquely American institution. A little research on the website A Passion for Jazz revealed that Jazz origins began in 20^th century New Orleans with other cities like Saint Louis, Kansas City and Chicago not far behind. Jazz roots can be traced back to West African black folk music developed in the Americas, joined with European popular and light classical music of the late 18th and early 19th centuries. Characteristics include syncopated rhythms that developed into Ragtime and minor chord sounds that are characteristic of the Blues.

The website explains that “Jazz and Blues are among America’s greatest cultural achievements and exports to the world community giving powerful voice to the American experience. Born of a multi-hued society, it unites people across the divides of race, region and national boundaries and Jazz music history has always made powerful statements about freedom, creativity and American identity at home and abroad.”

To understand the musicality of Jazz, think about life experience and human emotion because Jazz relies on these elements at the very core of the creation of this great music. Jazz is not the result of playing a tune in the same manner each time but an ideal that forms from the depths of the musician during the execution of the music. Jazz is an intuitive musical expression that goes well beyond strict interpretation of a composer’s notes on a page.

A very valuable resource to help children understand jazz is the Public Broadcasting site at http://pbskids.org/jazz/. There is a timeline with the history of jazz, a place to meet the great jazz musicians and a place for children to play in a jazz band. The site is interactive, instructive and fun so get going and have a jazzy weekend!

Life is Change

10-3-08

The University of Delaware hosted parent weekend and there was an interesting speaker who was both entertaining and thought provoking. Many young people will know him by his You Tube appearance in the fabulous and popular video, Evolution of the Dance. This video has the distinction of being the most viewed of all time video and the most popular video of all time. Jud Laipply, the originator and dancer, is a talented performer with a message.

The Evolution of the Dance was the last part of his show. The first part dealt with change. He used a series of more than 60 dances snippets to physically demonstrate that things really do not stay the same.

His message was as simple as the age old adage, change is inevitable. Jud told us that life is change. There are things in our lives as a result of choices that we make and concerning those choices there are two truths: there are things you can control and there are things you cannot control.

Pretty basic stuff but Mitchell Hall was full of parents and college freshmen were interested. Jud provoked our thoughts by asking us to play a simple game. Pairs of two people had to hold fingers behind our backs and then flash them showing a number. We had to add the two numbers together and shout it out. The winner was the first pair to shout out the number. This was a fun little game that demonstrated a point. 

Jud related that the ability to decide important issues beforehand (how many fingers to hold up) and to make decisions based on good reasoning was key to making good choices. To have this type of control takes practice.

Parents were probably thinking that this type of information could go along way for college freshman. To make good choices, decide ahead of time what you can and cannot do. Hmm. Sounds like good parenting.

But to take it a step further, parents were also thinking about their own lives. Life is change. After all, many of the parents in the audience were experiencing empty nest syndrome or at least the absence of an eighteen year old. So what to do now? Go out and buy a yacht and sail around the world or just pick up a good book and get back into the long lost habit of reading? So many choices.

Jud suggested that we try to look at people differently. Our lives are full of people who are very precious to us but we don’t often express such sentiments. He said that we should go up to people we care about and tell them, “I am glad that you are in my life.” Another version, “My life is better because you are in it.” This is part of making a conscious choice to build and improve relationships.

So as he wrapped up his show by doing a highly polished dance smorgasbord starting with an Elvis tune and ending with Soldier Boy, Jud reminded us of his favorite expression: “Life isn’t always the party we hope for but while we’re here you might as well dance.”

Play School

9-26-08

If today’s schools extinguish creativity and lessen a child’s ability to think, then what would a school look like if it encouraged play and free choice? To answer the question, travel to Framingham, Massachusetts to the Sudbury Valley School. This is a 38 year old facility where children are encouraged to be curious, independent learners.

The school has no classrooms, no grades, and students decide their own course of study. Failure is a learning experience taken in the wider context of experiential learning. All matters are discussed and voted on by students and staff and all activities are age-mixed.

The website informs that “If you visit the school you will notice that no matter what time of day and whatever their age, students are all doing what they want to do, with great intensity and concentration. Most often students are not concerned about whether learning is taking place. Doing what they choose to do is the common theme; learning is the by-product.”

The school boasts that they are teeming with activity. People of all ages collect in groups to work on common interests including reading, playing, developing pictures, dancing, woodwork, making music, working on computers, playing chess, rehearsing a show. There is art, sewing, painting, and clay. Activities take place indoors and outdoors all year round.

All of this choice builds confidence. A graduate of the school writes, “I didn’t really think about getting an education. I didn’t understand the idea of having to artificially “get” an education. I thought that you lived in the world and you got smarter because every day you were learning. I thought that there was no way you could get dumber unless you were erasing stuff out of your brain. It seemed to me that one day you were talking to someone about one subject and another day you were talking to someone about another, and eventually you’d get around to all of them.

Outsiders would ask, “What classes do you do?” And you’d think, “Classes? We don’t do classes, you know. Look around. There are no classrooms here.” They’d say, “What did you learn today?” and we’d think, “What did we learn today? What are you talking about?” Because it wasn’t as if you went into the library and learned your facts for the day. You had a dozen conversations with people. We weren’t learning subject by subject. We were learning in a much more organic manner. You would be doing a lot of different things and you would learn them in little bits and pieces that would start adding up to much bigger pictures. You wouldn’t really know where it came from a lot of the time. By the time you were done learning about something, information was coming from so many different sources, from books and from people you were talking to, and from a long drawn out experience, that you had no idea how you learned it.”

Even though the schools of today are miles away from this model, there is still a belief that little bits of knowledge and experience can make up effective learning. Yesterday we were discussing a poem in my class, which has become a basic practice, and later on in the day I ran into some former students in the hallway at the Ninth Grade Campus in Lewes. One boy said, “Hey Ms. Albanese, I still read poetry and now I really get it!”

Beautiful Dolls

9-19-08

The very latest on the political front – the Sarah Palin action figure, my students told me.

So we googled it and found this to be true. Sarah Palin as an action figure right up there with John McCain and Barrack Obama! No Joe Biden action figure yet– hmm?

The Sarah Palin action figure is astonishing. She dons a mini-skirt, a midriff top and looks like a super-sized, super-buff Sarah Superwoman. Her dark hair is fashioned on top of her head in a perky flip bun and she is wearing her signature glasses. Didn’t take long her to go from mom of five and Governor of Alaska to an exaggerated and highly stylized icon!

We discussed this in my Contemporary Issues class. Does this action figure really represent the Sarah Palin we have been reading about for the last two weeks? What about the other action figures? The John McCain action figure looks like he has had a healthy dose of steroids and the Barrack Obama action figure makes him out to look like he is ready for the next Smackdown Wrestling Mania contest. What does that say about our culture?

On that same day, a young lady brought in a newspaper, the National Enquire. She told me that her mom thought that I should comment on the articles that were on the front page.

It just so happens that I had 30 fresh copies of the News Journal delivered to my door on that same day. My class participates in the Newspaper in Education program that allows us to receive a delivery of current newspapers regularly. Free newspapers allow teachers to have the latest information to use to teach critical reading skills so the program is a real bonus for me to access the latest news. Most of my students do not receive any kind of news at their homes so this has become a reliable and welcome teacher resource. We looked at the News Journal and compared it to the National Enquire.

“Sarah Palin admits to affair,” boasts the National Enquire headline. “Sarah Palin’s son is a drug addict,” screams another. “Sarah Palin tells her story” says the headline along with a very hassled Sarah Palin picture. From these headlines, my students launch into a discussion of Sarah Palin. They know more about her than they do about any other candidate or any other politician at this point. They are familiar with her entire family and they are more than willing to accept these headlines as true.

To them, any news is real news. Anything printed or on-line must be true. It is here that teachers face their greatest challenge, how to develop discernment in the reader? What is fact and what is fiction and how do these papers get away with it? How do citizens make informed decisions?

After hearing everyone’s opinion of Sarah Palin we discussed their willingness to believe anything that is written. Did they know the source of this information and was it credible? What about Sarah Palin? As a candidate for Vice President of the United States could there be some exaggeration and exploitation built into these headlines? What does this have to do with how well she may be able to lead the country?

The perennial question – when you are finding out new information, consider the source! Then again, we live in a country where our candidates for high public office are supersized and glamorized. What is really the truth and how do you convey the right amount of skepticism and mindfulness to a generation willing to believe anything?

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Edutainment

9-12-08
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Looking out at my classroom full of new students, I wonder what will be the key to unlock learning for them this year. Students are so different and yet they have the same needs, to be accepted, to be recognized, to be included. This can be tough especially in middle school where it seems like everyone is cool.

With today’s students a common thread is technology. Most of my students have access to a computer and almost all of them are skilled. I don’t have to teach how to navigate the internet anymore, but I do have to teach internet safety. I don’t have to teach them about a mouse and a floppy disc, but I do have to teach them about how to determine the value of a website. At the very same time, they can teach me things about applications, access and fun. I am coming to lessons from a standards-based curriculum approach. They are arriving from an interest in being entertained and having fun. The marriage of these two – edutainment. If lessons are to work well, they must be entertaining and engaging. This has always been true but with our incorporation of technology, the possibilities are endless.

A perfect example of edutainment is the website SparkTop.org. The website says, “SparkTop is a place for kids to discover their unique ways of learning, develop their strengths and self-esteem, and discover strategies to succeed in and out of school. Our online community provides a safe place for kids to interact, share their worries, concerns and successes, and get feedback from kids just like them.”

There are sections for parents and for teachers. Students are asked to register to use the site and this enables them to save their work. Teachers can register an entire class. The site offers creative and innovative games, connection with other students and a chance for them to discover new ways to succeed in school and in life.

This website has an interesting beginning. SparkTop.org was developed by Schwab Learning, a service of the Charles and Helen Schwab Foundation, the same Charles Schwab who is the founder of the financial services company. The website explains to parents that “both Mr. Schwab and his son have been identified with dyslexia (difficulty with reading and basic language skills). Raising their son, Mr. and Mrs. Schwab encountered many of the same struggles you may be facing with your child at school and at home. Learning from those experiences, they established Schwab Learning in 1985 as a nonprofit organization, helping to direct parents toward information and resources while providing expert answers to important questions. Schwab Learning’s mission is to help kids who learn differently be successful in learning and life.

Today, SparkTop.org is operated by the Professor Garfield Foundation (PGF), a not-for-profit organization founded by Jim Davis, creator of the Garfield comic strip, who shares a literacy-oriented mission Jim had to overcome asthma and a stutter as a young child and feels that ALL of us have some challenge to overcome as we learn.”

SparkTop has won many awards for innovation and design. This edutainment site offers something for all students who can learn and still have fun in the process.

Showing That You Care
9-5-08

I was browsing my archives of Cape Gazette columns and realized that this is my eleventh anniversary as a Cape Gazette columnist! The first columns that I wrote were actually pre-Google. At that time much of my research actually came from news articles and books. I can remember having piles of articles that I cut out and notes written in notebooks. Not so anymore. Most research is on the Internet, but ideas for columns still come from a variety of sources including printed text. Anyway, thanks for eleven good years!

This column came from a poster put out by an organization called Healthy Communities, Healthy Youth. I found it my archives and it seems as relevant today as it was ten years ago. This is a checklist of ways to show kids that you care. Originally I attributed this list to Joene Roehlkepartain.

As children head back to school, this may be something to post on the refrigerator.

Showing That You Care

Notice them.

Smile a lot.

Look into their eyes when you talk to them.

Play with them.

Read aloud together.

Listen to their stories.

Notice when they are acting differently.

Suggest better behaviors when they act out.

Hug them.

Stay with them when they are afraid.

Play outside together.

Feed them when they are hungry.

Share their excitement.

Call them to say hello.

Hide surprises for them.

Discuss dreams and nightmares.

Create a tradition with them and keep it.

Make yourself available.

Apologize when you’ve done something wrong.

Give them a list of compliments.

Catch them doing something right.

Be curious with them.

Listen to their favorite music with them.

Use your ears more than your mouth.

Tell them stories in which they are the heroes.

Delight in their uniqueness.

Write a chalk message on the sidewalk.

Encourage them to help others.

Believe what they say.

Do what they like to do.

Appreciate their individuality.

Make decisions together.

Celebrate their firsts and lasts, such as the first day of school.

Tape-record a message for them.

Help them learn from their mistakes.

Go places together.

Be sincere.

Tell them what you expect of them.

Introduce them to a new experience.

Share a meal together.

Let them make mistakes.

Wave and honk when you drive by them.

Respect them.

Accept them as they are.

Be silly together.

Make time to be with them.

Join in their adventures.

Visit their schools.

Respect the choices they make.

Inspire their creativity.

Delight in their discoveries.

Be available.

Talk openly with them.

Believe in them.

Go places together.

Become their advocate.

Trust them.

Tolerate their interruptions.

Notice when they grow.

Daydream with them.

Tell them their feelings are OK.

Set boundaries that keep them safe.

Point out what you like about them.

Ask them to help you do things, ask for input.

Let them overhear you bragging about them.

Find good things about them that are actually true and let them know often.

Acknowledge their efforts more than their results.

Learn what they have to teach.